


Working Alone(but only by choice)

by gayceattorney



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gay, M/M, One Shot, One-Shot, Pining, Probably my best destiel tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2016-08-14
Packaged: 2018-08-08 15:04:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7762501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayceattorney/pseuds/gayceattorney
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel sat in deep thought in the corner table of the cafe, tucked far away from the chaos of the morning rush. He came to this place whenever the world became too much, which was often, he had to admit. Sam and Dean were always immersed in something or they were fighting against the universe, Castiel had no one to talk to...and neither Sam nor Dean seemed to want to. He looked down into the cup of coffee he had ordered. He had hardly touched it, didn’t usually, he just bought it to support the one place he felt safe in. It was the least he could do. </p>
<p>Dean punched Cas’s number into his phone for the sixth time. Why the hell wasn’t he picking up? He was doing this more and more, leaving without a trace and dropping contact for hours and sometimes days. Goddamnit Cas.<br/>“Pick up the phone, idiot...” Dean muttered as the ringing ceased, signalling that the call had failed again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Working Alone(but only by choice)

Castiel sat in deep thought in the corner table of the cafe, tucked far away from the chaos of the morning rush. He came to this place whenever the world became too much, which was often, he had to admit. Sam and Dean were always immersed in something or they were fighting against the universe, Castiel had no one to talk to...and neither Sam nor Dean seemed to want to. He looked down into the cup of coffee he had ordered. He had hardly touched it, didn’t usually, he just bought it to support the one place he felt safe in. It was the least he could do.   
He watched as the people got their various caffeinated, and sometimes not, drinks and go about their day. Hardly anyone hung around the shop in the mornings, not that Castiel minded that fact. He loved people-watching, everyone was so involved in themselves that they were naive to what was happening around them in a world they didn’t know of. He thought that was beautiful. He never knew naivety, he always knew this world and that he could never escape it. He never had a choice in the matter but these people always will. They can choose to remain the way they are, and if they spot something odd they always brush it off. They can choose to learn about this world. He wished he knew what that was like. Choice. It must be beautiful.

Dean punched Cas’s number into his phone for the sixth time. Why the hell wasn’t he picking up? He was doing this more and more, leaving without a trace and dropping contact for hours and sometimes days. Goddamnit Cas.  
“Pick up the phone, idiot...” Dean muttered as the ringing ceased, signalling that the call had failed again.   
“Hey, what’s up?” Sammy said as he got back into the Impala, holding a take-away bag from a nearby diner. He had that face on him again. The one where he doesn’t know if he should talk to Dean or ignore the fact that Dean is obviously bothered by something.   
“Nothing, just...Cas is doing that thing again,” Dean grumbled, putting the car into gear and turning up the radio. They drove for about a mile down the highway before Sam turned the radio back down and spoke.  
“Give him his space, I’m sure he’s fine. Why do you care so much?” Sam said, shaking his head and taking his tray of food out of the bag.  
“I don’t,” Dean said. His grip tightened on the wheel as he scowled. Why does Cas have to be so...frustrating?!  
“Dean, you flip out whenever he disappears!” Sam said, “God, why can’t you just admit it?”  
“Admit what?” Dean glanced at his brother in confusion.  
“That you...I’m not saying it for you.”  
“No, please tell me what I’m not admitting Sam. Because I don’t see how this has anything to do with you,” Dean huffed and glared at the road in front of him.  
“He’s my friend. You’re my brother. How does this not have anything to do with me?!” Sam said, his voice raising in frustration.  
“You’re being ridiculous.”  
“Oh I’m being ridiculous? Look at yourself Dean! You’re a mess whenever Cas leaves your sight!” Sam said, throwing his hands up.  
“What are you trying to say?!” Dean said, finally losing control and shouting.  
“I don’t believe that you care about Cas as ‘just friends’,” Sam used his fingers to put quotation marks around ‘just friends’.  
Dean slammed on the brake and snapped his head towards Sam who jerked forward from the sudden stop.  
“What the hell does that mean?!” Dean shouted.  
“Dean! Open your damn eyes for once! This isn’t hard,” Sam huffed and rolled his eyes, looking towards the road.  
“Sam, I’m not...I’m not gay,” he said, voice dropping in volume as he understood what Sam was trying to say.  
“You don’t need to be to feel how you do about him,” Sam said, as if it was the simplest thing in the world.   
“You don’t know anything about this! I don’t like him like that, Sammy,” Dean grumbled, hating when Sam tried to get into his head.  
“How you act with him says otherwise! Don’t think I don’t remember what love looks like...” Sam said solemnly, turning to stare out the window.  
Dean angrily put the car back into gear and sped down the road towards the bunker in silence. Why was Sammy so damn perceptive?

Castiel had left the shop nearly an hour ago but he had no desire to return to the bunker, to his room. He couldn’t call it home, no matter how much he wanted to. Castiel merely wandered, following no one’s lead but his own for the first time in a long time. He had found his way to a park that was at least two miles away from where he had started, if he remembered correctly. He sighed...time does fly. Castiel always turned his phone off on days like this, he knew he would have many messages from Dean when he booted up his phone but he did it none the less. As the screen was illuminated, he saw Dean’s face staring back at him from a picture that Sam had taken to go with Dean’s contact number. 

Dean-  
8:16am:  
Morning Cas  
8:23am:  
Ur not in ur room  
8:32am:  
Where are you  
8:37am:  
Are you doing that thing again  
8:39am:  
Cas  
8:40am:  
Don’t do this  
8:42am:  
Answer me

That was the end of the texts, from there on out he had voicemails. Maybe Dean did care, he did this every time Castiel went away without a trace. Castiel felt a spark of relief and something he couldn’t name at that thought. He opened up the first message and waited for the automated voicemail greeting to end.

“Hey Cas, just checking in. Call when you get this.”

“Cas, where are you? You weren’t here when I woke up. Call when you get this.”

“Cas, answer your phone! Call me as soon as possible,” Dean’s voice was becoming grittier, signalling his frustration.

“I know you’re doing that fricken disappearing act again. Call me.”

“Cas, call me right damn now. I’m not joking.” The message after that had been sent later in the day. Castiel waited for it to play.

“Please call me, Castiel,” Castiel tilted his head at that. Dean hardly ever called him by his full God-given name. Castiel had one more message, from Sam.

Sam-  
11:47am  
Hey Cas. Dean is worried. Get home as soon as you can, he needs to talk to you. See you soon.

Castiel sighed and decided it was time to return to his abode if the two Winchesters were acting the way they were. They probably had a case that only he could do or some special angel trick they wanted to pull. As much as he cared for them, and Dean especially, sometimes he felt like he was being used, he sighed at the thought. He sent himself to a location that was about a mile away from the bunker. That would give him some extra time to himself he decided.

Dean was pacing. He was pacing because it had been hours since he called Cas last. Maybe he should try again. No, Cas wanted to be alone and besides, Dean didn’t know what he wanted to tell him anyway. What was he going to tell him? Hey, Cas, I might be gay for you! Cas, I like you, do you want to do things together as not friends? Yo Cas, you’re hot, wanna get together? Okay definitely not that one...

“I’m here,” Castiel said into the empty entrance hall. Maybe they weren’t here right now. Probably started a case without him. Castiel paid it little mind as he found his way into the large shared space.

“Oh! Uh, Cas,” Dean said, stumbling into the room awkwardly. Smooth, Dean, real smooth. Cas furrowed his eyebrows.

“...Hello Dean,” Castiel responded, noticing that Dean was acting slightly strange. He kept changing his footing, shifting his weight from one foot to another...He was nervous? That wouldn’t make sense, why would Dean be nervous?

“Hey, uh, where have you been?” Dean blurted out. Dean, pull yourself together.

“I was out...you’re acting strange, Dean,” Castiel said, placing his few things on the table and looking at Dean with questioning eyes.

“What? I don’t-no, I’m not,” Ooh nice Dean, that was normal.

“Yes you are, you’re fidgeting. You only fidget when you have something to tell me or Sam.”

Goddamnit, “...Okay I do have something to say...but I do not fidget!”

“Yes, you do. You also try to change the subject,” Castiel said, looking at Dean with a face that said that he knew he was right and Dean did too. 

“I do not,” Dean sat down, silently inviting Cas to as well, “So how was your morning?”

“You’re changing the subject again,” Castiel said in a flat tone as he took a seat across from Dean.

“I-so what if I am? I actually want to hear about your day,” Dean said, smiling and trying to get Cas to talk about something other than him.

“It was fine. Dean, what’s wrong?” Castiel asked after a beat. Dean was acting odd and Castiel wouldn’t be able to focus on anything else until he found out why.

Dean looked down and away from Cas, “Nothing...I-nothing.”

“You’re lying.”

“Drop it, okay?!” Dean said, snapping at Cas. Why did he have to press it?

“No, Dean. You’re upset, I want to know why,” Castiel said, completely unfazed by his outburst.

“I’m not upset!” Dean said, raising his voice and standing from the table. He turned from Cas, if he looked into those eyes...he would tell him everything. He heard Cas get up from his chair and walk around the table.

“Dean,” Castiel said from behind Dean. What had gotten into him? He was worrying Castiel.

“Cas...” Cas came to stand in front of him now. He was standing too close but Dean couldn’t move. 

“Dean. Tell me what’s wrong,” Castiel said, ignoring the little space between them.

“I can’t,” Dean moved away from Cas, walking backwards and tripping over a chair leg. 

“Dean!” Castiel grabbed Dean’s arm by reflex and pulled him to him to stop his fall, “Are you okay?”

Dean looked at Cas. This was weird. This was a weird position. Cas was holding him up even though Dean was taller. This was weird. What did he kind of like it? Oh god, “I’m...I’m fine.”

“Good. You could’ve hurt yourself, be more careful,” Castiel let Dean out of the pseudo-hug, his hands still on Dean’s forearms.

If Cas kept treating Dean like something so precious, Dean might just scream what he’d been trying to say and that would be really bad. Dean wanted to be cool about it. Subtle. Dean swallowed, “Cas, I...”

“Yes, Dean?” Castiel reached up to Dean’s cheek and made him look at him. Dean looked more scared than before but Castiel paid it no mind.

Cas was touching him. Like a concerned lover would. What was happening? Dean could feel his heart in his throat and he had to remind himself to breathe, “I...I think you’re really attractive and you seem to care about me! I don’t know if I’m projecting my feelings or if what I think you do means what you want it to. Like right now, your hand is on my cheek and that’s really intimate and I shouldn’t like it but I think I do. Castiel, I like you!” Dean practically shouted the last bit. He was breathing hard and his eyes searched Cas’s for any sign of emotion. Cas, say something!

“...So you do care? About me?” Castiel said, his eyebrows furrowed and the warmth in his chest that he felt before returning to him. Castiel moved his hand down to Dean’s shoulder.

“Of course I do!” Dean said in disbelief, “...why would you think otherwise?”

“I...I never felt like you did,” Now it was Castiel’s turn to avert his gaze. 

“Of course I care...Cas, I care about you so much,” Dean put his hands on either side of Cas’s face. Cas smiled. Dean always loved the rare times he saw Cas’s smile. 

Castiel was confused but he didn’t mind that. Dean cared. He really cared. Castiel’s feelings weren’t one-sided like he had thought. 

Dean moved his face closer to Cas’s, “Can I?” Dean asked.

Castiel answered by moving his hand from Dean’s shoulder to the back of his neck. Dean smiled and closed his eyes and he and Castiel kissed, at long last. 

Dean moved his hands to the small of Cas’s back and felt him smile. This was nice. This was what Dean wanted. Dean pulled back, grinning like a child.

“I like you too, Dean.”

“God, I hope so,” Dean laughed, leaning down to kiss Cas again. Cas pulled him closer and Dean felt like he might explode. So this is what he’d been missing? Damn.

Castiel was...happy. Yeah. He was happy. Kissing Dean was incredible. He never wanted to stop, he thought as he opened his lips slightly. Dean took that invitation gladly.

“Hey Dean, is Cas ba--oh,” Sam entered the room, fiddling with his phone before he looked up, “...okay.”

“Oh god,” Dean muttered, hiding his face in Cas’s shoulder. Cas laughed. Asshole.

“Hello Sam,” Castiel said. He didn’t see the point in being embarrassed, he knew Sam had seen worse from Dean.

“Hey Cas...Uh, congratulations,” Sam said, with added awkward finger guns, “I am so glad I don’t have to watch Dean look at you longingly anymore, that was so annoying...” Sam said with a roll of his eyes, backing out of the room muttering with a smirk on his face. He had been waiting years for this to finally happen.

“He’s gone,” Castiel told Dean.

“Good. I mean, he’s seen worse but I’d prefer to keep you to myself,” Dean smirked.

“I agree,” Castiel said, placing a chaste kiss on Dean’s lips before wandering down the hall to his room. He stopped and looked over his shoulder, “Would you like to join me?”

Dean smiled. He would kill himself if he passed this up, he thought, walking behind the angel quickly. Yeah...Dean really liked Cas.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I hadn't written Destiel in an entire year when I wrote this, and I improved so much it was weird. Anyway, thank you!


End file.
